Seven months post-adoption.  The ups and downs of the past year have been like the wildest roller coaster we have ever ridden, with thrills and dips and twists and turns that we never could have anticipated.  But the latest plunge into the darkness took us by surprise, leaving us wanting to get off this ride and back on solid ground.  Thanks be to God that we have had the seat belt of our Almighty God, holding us firmly in his hands, never letting go and never leaving us for one single second.  He is more than faithful, and he is good.

The last few months have been extraordinarily challenging for our family, with more moments of crisis than I care to count.  Cognitively Scott and I thought we understood the challenges of adopting older children (with the older the child, the more challenging the situation), as we had much training, education, and preparation prior to the adoption.  (Our kids turned 14 and 18 within 3-4 months of being home).  I think we relished the idea of the challenge, with good intentions blinding us to the reality of the hardships that lay ahead, and our pride most certainly played a part in it.   Our expectations and the expectations of our adopted children and biological children most certainly also played a part in some of our deep disappointment on what our new family would look like, when reality was so far from those expectations. 

Disappointment, despair, feelings of failure, and hopelessness crept in subtly.  The daily stress and frequent blow-ups began to take a toll on us physically, emotionally, and spiritually.   Suddenly, Scott and I were the ones who were hyper-alert, ready for each new situation that required our intervention, and the strain began to drive a wedge between us.  We knew we needed time for ourselves as a couple, but when we would take the time, we often “paid the price” when we got home, making us less and less willing to take the necessary time to invest in our marriage.  It seemed all we could talk about was our newest children, and soon the talks turned into arguments, and our many mistakes and failures as parents added to our burden and hopelessness.  We were in survival mode.

We sought counseling, but I fear we waited too long.  The truth is, we had no idea how to parent an 18 year-old Ukrainian man that we hadn’t raised, whose culture, language, and background were so different from ours.  We followed professional advice, only to find that it backfired on us and wasn’t the best advice after all.   Hindsight is always 20/20.  (We are learning now that much of this adoptive parenting is trial and error, with more error than we care to recall.)  Our many mistakes added to his turmoil, and it came to a head during what was supposed to be a wonderful family vacation in Florida.  More heartache and disappointment for everyone.

Our God is a good and gracious God, and I can tell you after everything we have been through, we can testify that He does hear and answer prayer.  He is true to his promises.  He is faithful.  God provided mentor families for our son to live with, who have been able to help him with his goal of being “on his own,” and God provided an amazing job for our son as a mechanic’s apprentice, where he can learn a trade and has the potential to work his way up the ladder in time.  We are more than thankful for others who love our son enough to mentor and guide him, as we begin to put the pieces back together in our family and find our new normal.  God brought us through the valley, but we can see him using those very dark hours as a way of bringing about a better plan for our son and for us.   And our God is not done with our story yet.

This is our story, and it probably won’t be your story if you adopt older children.  But you may be able to glean something from our experience which would help you, so here are a few things we have learned, and not in any particular order:

1.     The older the child you adopt, the more likely they need mentoring, not parenting.  This could be an entire blog post on its own, and I will probably write more about this later as I learn what this looks like.  But essentially, it may be “too late” to parent a 16 or 17 year old ex-orphan.  They may just need mentors to guide them in the way to go.  This doesn’t mean they aren’t part of your family, or that you don’t lovingly discipline them; it just means you let go of some of the expectations you would have if you kept your “parent” mentality.

2.     Seek counseling early, especially with older children.  Reading all the books in the world will not prepare you as well as having a trained adoption counselor helping you with your specific child/children and your specific family dynamics.  APAC offers free counseling, or you may be able to get help through your adoption agency or local counseling office.  But if you have adopted an older child, you probably need professional help.

3.     Realize the seriousness of the spiritual battle you are entering, and get ready to fight.  But fighting requires you to know who your enemy is.  Your enemy is not your spouse, or your newest child, it is the spiritual powers of darkness, and frankly, you have ticked them off pretty badly by attempting to obey God and demonstrate Jesus’ unconditional love and grace.  You better have your armor on, be ready to use your Sword, and have other prayer warriors fighting for your family, too.  It’s war.

4.     Nurture your marriage.  If your marriage falls apart, everything you have tried to do in providing a family to your newest kids (and biological kids, if you have them) will fall apart, too.  It is absolutely essential to find time to play, laugh, talk, and get away together, but it will feel impossible when you first come home.  You must make it your highest priority. 

5.     Don’t feel guilty for wanting to spend time and effort with your biological children, too.  Ours seemed to get the short end of the stick for the last few months, and thankfully, they are pretty resilient.  But don’t underestimate the difficulty they might be having sharing their parents and adjusting to all the changes, too.  It’s important to spend time and effort with them, too.

6.     Surround yourself with support.  Your church family, other adoptive families, your extended family, and your friends will be there to help you.  Don’t push them away in an attempt to survive this difficult adventure.  Let them know what you need and allow them to fulfill James 1:27 by helping your family in practical help, meals, prayers, and babysitting.  You can’t do this by yourself, so don’t try.

7.     Cling to God’s promises.  Write them on cards and tape them to your bathroom mirror.  Write them in your journal and re-read them.  Get the app for your I-phone so you can listen to them in your car or when you are on the go.  God is faithful, and his promises are true, and in all of this He wants to show His character and love to you and your family, and He probably wants to show you your dependence on Him, because you can’t do this on your own.

Buckle up, it’s a wild ride, and God isn’t through yet.

After being home for four months, we are just now beginning to get into a routine of family life -- school and school work, chores, family meals, devotions, and family time to name a few.  It seems the self-regulating is a little better – the kids are a little more able to eat at mealtimes rather than snacking heavily throughout the day, go to sleep at a reasonable bed time, and fill up their free time with more than just you tube Ukrainian TV and music.  Viktor just finished the fall season of soccer, and watching him goof off and high five his teammates makes us very happy.  Tanya needs a little more of a social outlet which we have not yet come up with, although she had no lack of friends at her 14th birthday party 2 weekends ago.  

Viktor seems happy at home, especially now that we have acknowledged that he can smoke and we will still love him (although he knows how much we do not like it).  In public Viktor still tends to keep a good amount of distance from us, and often will wander away, promising to come find us in  “5 or 10 minutes,” and then finally reunite with us when it is time to leave.  It hurts us to see that in public he doesn’t seem attached or bonded to us, maybe even embarrassed of us, but at least at home he is playful, affectionate, mostly helpful, and good-natured.  

Tanya seems happier at home, too, but she seems to teeter between solemnity and silliness.  It seems any little smell, word, picture, or thought can trigger an immediate response and send her in a downward, depressed spiral.  Some of that is probably 14 year old girl hormones, but another part is being a girl with a difficult past, trying to fit into a new culture, family, and lifestyle and probably feeling like she doesn’t belong anywhere.  We are able to get her out of these down times, but it takes much effort and time and can be emotionally exhausting for Scott and me.  

The toll this has taken on our younger biological children will probably not be fully realized until they are adults and are in counseling of their own.  Two evenings ago, Mary pulled me aside and said, “Mommy, I’m having a really hard time since Tanya and Viktor have been here.  You only spend time with them and you never play with me anymore.”  There was truth to that statement, which heaped guilt on my already heavy heart, and I stood amazed that my 5 year old could verbalize this to me.  Making a conscious effort to spend individual time with each child is something Scott and I must work on, and probably use trial and error to see how this will work with our unique family dynamics.  

Lately I have felt very alone.  It is not because I do not have an incredibly supportive extended family or church family.  It is not because I am not around my large family and children most of my waking hours.  It is not because I do not have wonderful friends that I could call in a heartbeat if I had a minute to myself.  It is not because I have not had quality time with the Lord each day.  It is not because I do not have a wonderful, supportive husband.  Ironically, I think it is because there is very little time for me to get away to be alone, or have coffee with a girlfriend, or have a guilt-free, bother-free date with my husband, or a carefree play date with friends and their kids.  

Most of our energy, emotional and physical, goes to Tanya and Viktor.  There is just no way around it.  While we were in the process of doing paperwork and all the waiting that is involved in an international adoption, we talked about this and tried to tell ourselves that our younger four would not suffer, that we would make sure they had what they needed in terms of attention and love and affection.  But intentions and reality are two different things.  There is only so much energy one has in a day, and when it is spent, it is spent.  I am begging God for the grace for my children to be okay, despite the toll this is taking on them.  

For us there is no turning back now.  This is what we signed up for.  At the same time, if I said we never had regrets or guilt or fear or turmoil I would be a big fat liar.  We have to keep reminding ourselves of what God has called us to, how directly he spoke to us about this, and stand firm in his promises that he will never leave us, and that he is indeed a good God who would not call us to something and then pat us on the back and tell us, “Good luck with that.”  

The gospel is alive and well in our home.  To be on the giving end of grace is a difficult task, but it makes realizing how we are on the receiving end of God’s grace that much sweeter.  Daily we must offer and receive forgiveness from each other and our children, and attempt to model that to them as well.  It is exhausting to forgive someone who is not the least bit sorry or grateful.  It is exhausting to love the way God calls us to, loving even our enemies (which often live under our same roof).  But then we go back to the ocean of God’s love, which He has been showing to me anew, and we dive in and attempt to pierce the depths of it, but we barely end up skimming the surface of His love for us, and we fill up on it and let it be the source for our impossible task of loving well those in our immediate circle.  And resting in Him we find a little solace.    

The past two months have flown by since bringing Tanya and Viktor home from Ukraine.  The 7 weeks Scott spent in Ukraine (and the 3 and a half weeks Anna and I spent) were a blur of sweet moments and challenges beyond what we could have imagined.  Since coming home, things have definitely been easier, but I would not say they have been easy.  But we are blown away by how God is knitting us together as a family. 
I am grateful when they first came home it was July 4th, Independence Day, the day they officially became U.S. citizens as they stepped foot on North Carolina soil.  Being the middle of summer, we had a chance to become a family, learn to live, work, and play together, and begin working on English all while enjoying the flexibility of a summer schedule, with plenty of time for swimming at the YMCA and volleyball in the backyard.  
The four younger children have had to learn to share their parents with 2 older siblings, as well as find the balance between playing with (and hanging on) Tanya and Viktor, and giving them their much-needed space.  Tanya and Viktor are learning how to engage the younger children with games, wrestling and tickling, and are especially enjoying watching Isaac change so quickly, as he learns to walk and talk.  Tanya adores Isaac and is quick to pick him up and bring him to me when he needs Mama.  Isaac and Viktor sit by each other at dinner, and it has been a special joy watching Viktor learn how to engage a baby, feeding him from his own plate, and getting slimed by those chubby fingers (that are covered in what we’re having for dinner) that are always reaching out to grab Viktor’s arm.  Anna and Viktor have a special bond, as they really connected when Anna came with us to Ukraine, and she enjoys snuggling up next to him for games or watching videos.  Although it was difficult at first, Anna has learned not to boss her older siblings and how to be both a big sister and a little sister, which is a new dynamic for her.  Scotty and Mary are still learning their new place in the family, and are having the toughest time adjusting.  They both have regressed in certain areas, which often happens even when a new baby is brought home, and it has been hard to help them adjust to the new normal.  As they struggle, it often comes out in whining, pouting, and other annoying behaviors, which only widens the gap between them and their new siblings, but Scott and I are encouraged that they are slowly adjusting with lots of love, instruction, and affirmation from us.
Two weeks ago we started school, with a new routine and the adjustments that come with that.  We are thrilled for the opportunity Viktor has to attend 4 classes at Eastwood Christian School, where he dresses in button-down shirt and tie, and is surrounded by kids who want to learn and teachers who love Christ.  His English is improving dramatically, and he is working on other subjects at home, learning the new balance of chores, homework, family time, and free time.  He is excited to start soccer in a couple of weeks.  I am homeschooling the girls, and enjoying a very full day of teaching, sharing, and learning together.  The girls have started choir classes, and Tanya and Anna will begin piano lessons next week.  Tanya will start ESL (English as a Second Language) classes 4 mornings a week next week as well, to supplement our homeschool day.  
Last night after we came home from church and the little ones dressed in their pajamas, we gathered on the rug of the living room and “Papa” Scott led our family in a time of prayer as we prayed over each of our children.  Franky, our dog, was right in the middle of the pile of bodies, licking faces and wagging his tail as we prayed, providing plenty of comic relief as usual.  Scott and I laid our hands on each of our children as we prayed over them, and when it was Tanya’s turn, I laid my hand on her and she quickly grabbed it and didn’t let go, even when it was Viktor’s turn for prayer.  When we were finished, there was a tangible sweetness in the room, as the Holy Spirit was there in our midst.  Viktor, in his usual gregarious way, began sharing Franky germs with all of us – he went around giving everyone kisses on the cheek to share the Franky slobber that he had picked up during prayer time (Franky had been licking his face!).  He started with Scott, and as he jumped on Scott’s back piggy-back style, and nuzzled his face in Scott’s neck, my heart swelled.  As he went around to the younger kids and Tanya, sharing “Franky” kisses with each of them, the laughter and silly protests filled our home.  Finally he came to me, and I got my first kiss on the cheek from my oldest son.  More heart swelling for me.   Thanks be to God.

A week ago today, I was a nervous, excited wreck driving to Birmingham with our four youngest children, ready to pick up my sweet husband and two newest children from the airport after 30-something hours of traveling from Kiev.  A very small group of friends from Bridgestone were there to greet the children with us, and that was more than enough excitement for Tanya and Viktor.  I was glad it wasn’t more, but thankful for the support everyone wanted to show us all.

It’s hard to believe it’s only been a week.  I am amazed at the progress all of the children are making in adjusting to our new family, and amazed at how God is truly building us into a family little by little.  We have had some bumpy moments for sure, but overall I would say the tone has been a sweet one in our home.  For that I am so grateful.

We are learning a new rhythm of family life, of meal times, cooking, cleaning, chores and responsibility.  We are learning to play together, to spend time together, to enjoy each other.  We are learning to share more – the little ones are sharing their parents and toys, and the big ones are sharing their space and privacy, and all 6 of them are sharing a bathroom!  It has been a growing experience for all of us.

We are also learning to say, “I’m sorry.”  We are learning to forgive and let go of things.  We are learning to trust.  We are learning to put one another ahead of ourselves.  We are learning the painful lesson of patience.  Scott and I are learning to give ourselves away.  It is not an easy thing to do.  But we are all learning.

We have been so impressed by Viktor’s handiness, his mechanical mind, the way he can take something apart, figure out what is wrong with it, and with much diligence he can fix it.  We love how playful he is, how affectionate and silly he can be, and how he receives correction humbly and responds appropriately.  It is hard to remember what life was like before the fun he brought to our family.

We are so much enjoying Tanya, and her sweet, gentle personality.  She has a special connection with Isaac especially, and the way she cares for him and nurtures him makes a mother proud.  We love her silliness, her helpfulness, and especially her contagious laugh.  She is our sweet flower.

The younger children are adjusting, but I think it has been hardest on them.  It is hard to understand why the rules and bedtimes are different for Tanya and Viktor.  It is hard to share so much so quickly.  It is hard to understand why the older children sometimes need their space and don’t want to play with them every minute of the day.  It is especially hard to share your parents.  I don’t think any of us knew how needy all 6 of our children would be after an adjustment like this and sometimes the exhaustion of someone needing something constantly wears on us, especially me.  But our God is our strength in our weakness.  Thanks be to God, and to you for your continued prayers.  We desperately need them.  

It has been really busy -- cleaning our apartment then moving to Kiev for our first appointment with the US Embassy.  In terms of coming to Kiev and the adoption process -- all is well.  I sure miss our children and my wife (it has been 2 weeks since Anna & Rachel left)!  I am a bit apprehensive about what the next step of life will be life.  There is no turning back.  There is NOTHING easy about the days that are ahead.  I am scared.  I am overwhelmed.  I know that I am NOT capable of living out the task that is before me.  

The Lord reminded me of the familiar passage of 2 Cor 12:9 - that He will be my strength.  Perhaps it is even saying that He will be my strength when I realize my weakness.  I KNOW I am weak, but yet I still forget ---and I need to be reminded daily.  Usually I am reminded by my weakness.  You get where I am headed....

Regardless, it is a promise to Paul and to all of His children.  We are indeed weak.  Therefore any time we discern (and even when we don’t) our weakness -- He is making Himself strong in and through us!

I am sure this whole journey, including the road ahead, will be a great blessing.  I will assure you that it is much harder than I could have imagined.  Maybe this is exactly why we were called to it: we will need the Lord more than we ever have before.  This is a good thing.

Above is a picture of St. Michael’s Cathedral and Kiev, taken from the bell tower of St. Sophia’s Cathedral.  Below is St. Sophia’s.  The Euro Cup Soccer Finals is here Sunday night.  It has been crazy!  There were 100s of thousands of people in Independence Square last night for the Elton John / Queen Concert.  We lasted 20 minutes.  It was JAMMED everywhere with people.  The pictures does not do justice!

We also met up with an old friend, Eric Bougie, his wife Tanya, and children.  It was great to catch up with them!

Reflecting back on my recent trip to the Ukraine in support of our son Scott, while meeting our new grandchildren, I am very grateful to have had such a special privilege. Cheryl was additionally sweet to have let me head east eight time zones away on our 40th anniversary. Who would have thought?   

My flight to Amsterdam was delayed so connections into Kiev were 11 hours late, costing additionally for the taxi that awaited my arrival.  KLM tried to get me through Paris, only to let me see DeGaulle and the British Concorde but having to reconnect back through Amsterdam after all; imagine being in Paris without the woman of my dreams on our anniversary!  Oh well, I am convinced that God loves humor! The same passengers from my earlier Houston flight were still awaiting here and applauded my reuniting with them. One even volunteered to drive me the 6 hours to Zaparozhya but, of course, I had to realize my beloved taxi that was to whisk me to my destination.

Not knowing a language and unable to read signage is more overwhelming than I thought possible.  I figured that with Google Translate in my iphone, I was all prepared.  Niyet!!  It serves as a nice patch but makes for some very patient slow conversations.  The only words that I seemed to do well with, even in my sleep, was “spasibo” (thank you) that goes far in any language. The Cyrillic (Greek looking) letters add to the confusion such that even standard signage is foreign to the eyes. Tanya’s name, for example, is spelled “TAHR” where the “R” is flipped in its axis like you would see in a mirror!

Seeing Tanya and Viktor in their own environment gave me a special understanding for who they are and the challenges that they will be now missing.  I trust that their mild understanding of English will serve them well in gaining  a quick fluency in this “new” language. Having Natashia translating for us was very helpful and encouraging.  Tanya and I headed out one day across the Dneiper River by taxi to see a Cossack museum and reenactment, while the others were chasing down document details.  I enjoyed this very much but not being able to speak with my now-oldest granddaughter was again a unique challenge.  She loved it when “dadushka” managed to throw three war axes and a battle axe successfully into a log target; the Cossack’s are still scratching their heads.

Other blogs describe fun experiences like the museum visit, walking adventures, the Orphanage goodbye party, grocery shopping and visiting McDonald’s together.  Being able to provide the first true Lawry meal with Natashia on the very night that the 10 day court administered waiting period was over, was a lifetime highlight for me. The taxi then took me back to Kiev through the night for my 6:30AM return through Amsterdam.  I had to smile when the pilot apologized for taking off 5 minutes late.

A note to all grandparents out there: Whenever your nuclear family makes a similar expansion, make sure you take similar efforts to be affirming; you won’t ever regret it!  Let’s welcome Tanya and Viktor home to the good ol’ U S of A on the Fourth-of-July.  How great is that.  To God be the Glory!!  

Tuesday morning was spent being lazy and exploring Kiev on our own, as we were packing up to leave our apartment there and travel to Zaporozia.  We ventured to a coffee shop and ordered clumsily, with our Russian phrase book in tow.  We walked down to Independence Square, checked out the underground mall, hiked up to see the Kiev arch (a sign of friendship between Russia and Ukraine), and when Natasha picked us up at 2PM and we had no idea the adventure we were in for.
As she took us on a walking tour of Kiev to kill time between 2PM and 4PM (when we could pick up our official referral for the children), she also served as history teacher, individual tour guide, and adoption counselor.  After we picked up the referral (which was fairly uneventful and certainly less stressful than going to the Ministry for Adoptions yesterday!), we continued to walk all over Kiev, where we learned so much about Ukrainian history and culture, and got to see much of downtown firsthand.  We continued to walk, and walk, and walk, through a park, into St. Vladimir’s Church, past the Golden Gate and countless sculptures, architecture, food vendors, and people, until we reached the train station.  We walked for about 6 hours that day!  I have to say that we were incredibly proud of Anna for keeping up with us, not complaining, and managing that kind of activity.
The train station is a huge beautiful building, full of marble and granite, and bustling with people from all walks of life.  Irena (Natasha’s partner) met us at the train with our luggage.  The Turkish toilets that are available before you get on the train were “free,” and they are basically a hole in the ground in a small stall with a low door (with NO toilet paper!).  When you gotta go, you gotta go.  We grabbed our luggage and headed up the stairs (carrying our luggage) because the escalators were not working!  The train station had no air conditioning inside, and it was stuffy and hot, and crawling with people going every which way.  By the time we had made it up the stairs, through the crowd, then back down the stairs to our train, we were already sweaty, hot and tired.  We knew we had packed too much!
We entered the train, and were shown to our small cabin with four narrow, padded benches set up as bunks, 2 on each side of the room, with small storage area under the bottom bunks.  All 4 of us could not fit in the cabin unless a couple of us were on our beds.  The cabin steward brought us fresh sheets and a towel, and after laughing and catching our breath, we were soon making our beds.  They provide a bedroll, pillows and blankets in addition to the sheets.  We were able to laugh so much on that bumpy, stuffy train ride (thankfully the air conditioning did come on!), and thought about the families that are coming after us and the adventures they will have, going to what feels like the end of the world to get their children as we were doing that very moment.
As we settled down for sleep, I thought about our visit to Dachau a few days earlier, and the stuffy train cabin and lumpy mattress suddenly seemed like a luxury suite.  I thought about how important hope is, and without it you might as well be dead.  I thought about Tanya and Viktor, and prayed much of the night as sleep only came in short spurts for us that night.  Then I thought about Jesus himself, giving up the comfort and splendor of heaven, and coming down to the end of the world for me, for you, to get His children and bring them home.  The train ride wasn’t so bad after all.

Our appointment was scheduled this morning at 10 AM.  We put on our Sunday best and received the call from Natasha to meet us downstairs about 9:30 AM.  She mentioned that traffic was terrible, that she was only a block away, and she wasn’t sure what she would do about parking, so she would just pick us up in the car.  (We had originally planned to walk to the Ministry for Adoptions with her from our apartment as it is only a 5 minute walk).  We waited downstairs, anxiously watching the heavy traffic crawl up the hill past our apartment.  After waiting a few minutes, we breathed a sigh of relief as we saw her headlights flash to us, and the 3 of us scrambled into her car while we blocked traffic temporarily.  Thankfully Natasha was able to navigate the terrible traffic in Kiev.

Natasha is a skilled driver, which is necessary when traveling in a city like Kiev, where the aggressive driver gets to his or her intended destination, and there is no such thing as a defensive driver. The Ministry of Adoptions is located in a huge building directly next to centuries-old St. Andrew’s Church, another beautiful and historic building, designed with the Byzantine / Baroque style of golden domes and ornate crosses.  Of course she managed to get to us there with time to spare, with the usual drill of “hurry up and wait.”  We waited in the stairwell with Natasha and 2 European families.  At last they called our names, and we hurried into a small room, furnished with a low couch, a couple of chairs, bookcases stacked with binders, and a desk.  A very pleasant woman greeted us and introduced herself as Ivana.  She asked to see our passports, and to hear a little bit about our family, what we did for a living, and about our biological children.  Natasha translated.  Then she asked us who we would like to adopt.  It was such a surreal moment to say Viktor and Tanya Kaptur.  She couldn’t find our “specific child request letter” right away, so it was good that we had brought copies of our entire dossier.  She disappeared and after a few minutes, returned with the children’s files.  There they were, pictures of Tanya and Viktor as young children, clipped to their paperwork, and suddenly my heart ached for the years I have missed.  Tanya was Anna’s current age.  Viktor was just a boy.  “Yes, these are the children we wish to adopt.”  

They told us we could come back tomorrow after 4pm and pick up their referrals, and they have given us permission to travel to the region where they live.  Praise the Lord, He is faithful!  We must choose to be grateful for the time we will have with them, and try not to regret the time we have missed.  Gratefulness will always squelch bitterness, regret, and sorrow.
 

Reflecting on our Tuesday, I am thinking about the transition that we have been on for the last few weeks.  I went from being a friend to Tanya (subsequently Viktor) to a Father.  In other words, now I am responsible for them and have the right and responsibility to correct them.  This is not an easy transition.  At times it leads to tension.

We had a good day, but at times challenging.  We had a great time visiting the Zaporozhye Car Museum and the symbol of Zap for many years: the 700 year old tree.

The day ended with a good time in the Word together.  Psalm 127 was what came to mind and we talked about the only Commandment of the 10 that comes with a promise: to honor your father and mother.  We talked about authority and my job to guide them, the best that I can, to a good future.  They seemed to receive it well.  We have only begun an amazing journey.

Monday we visited Matveevka for the last time.  We had some paperwork to complete.  The kids said goodbye to the director, some staff, and a few remaining friends (many are gone for the summer).  This was hard for them, but they mostly seemed eager to leave.  In fact, they made it back to the car before I did!

We had to travel near the village the children were from so we visited Sofeevka (sp?).   We wound up staying the whole afternoon visiting various places and homes they remembered.   Viktor came a couple of days ago, but essentially they both have not been back in 8 years.

We also connected with some distant family.  Most of the day is too personal to share online---and a story they alone have the right share fully.  However, the climactic point was visiting their Grannie’s grave.  I am so glad we found it.  Situated in a small cemetery in the middle of a corn field, we found her and the grave of her mother too.  It was sobering.  It was hard.  It was painful.  It was good.  It was healing.

We found their Grannie’s best friend and she was overjoyed to see the children.  We were told that she talked about them every day for these last 8 years.  She is pictured above.  She told some stories about how Viktor would always eat straight sugar and how Viktor would always make sure that Tanya was taken care of and close by.

Truly some “chapters” in the children’s lives are now closed and they seem very eager to move on to the next ones.  It was an emotional day and we were all exhausted, but their did to seem a new tone in the house.  We got home and kids started cleaning and even studying english!  To top things off, one of my children called me dad for the first time (the other one already does so all the time --  the other one has held off).

It was a tremendously tough day.  It was a tremendously good day.